Jokes

9.What's the difference between pre-menstrual tension and B.S.E?
-One's mad cow disease; the other's an agricultural problem.

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10. Why does the bride always wear white?
-Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and
refrigerator.

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11. What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
-Nothing, she's been told twice already.

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12. How many men does it take to open a beer?
-None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.

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13. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what
have you done wrong?
-Made her chain too long.

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14. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
-Marry it!

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15. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
-A battery has a positive side.

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16. What are the three fastest means of communication?
-1) Internet 2) Telephone 3) Tel-a-woman

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17. Why do hunters make the best lovers?
-Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once, and they eat
what they shoot.

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18. How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
-They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.

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19. What should you give a woman who has everything?
-A man to show her how to work it.

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20. How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
-They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end you
lose your house.

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21. Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?
-She knows she's given her last blow job.